At the beginning of each of my kids' senior years they had no idea what they wanted to do after graduation… well they had a limited idea but no real plan. My daughter, Taylor, thought she wanted to go to college but had no idea what she wanted to study. My son, Christopher, wanted to play soccer “at the next level” but didn’t know whether he would get the opportunity nor what he wanted to study. Both felt totally overwhelmed, stressed out and afraid they would never figure it out. Having conversations was difficult; they didn’t want to talk about it or when they did there was pushback about any ideas I might share. I knew they needed to create a plan, but I was totally at a loss (at the time) as to how to help.
You too?
What I want you to know first of all is that there are more parents (and teens) like us than you may think. While social media may project that everyone has a plan, they don’t, and that’s OK. What my kids needed was a total reset to the social expectations they had grown up with (and that I had inadvertently fed into).
Maybe your kids do too?
With that in mind, here are 3 key strategies I used to guide my kids forward that you can use too.
Ease the pressure. All around our kids is the message that if they don’t have a solid plan for after graduation by the time they reach their senior year they have failed. That is just not true! Instead of reinforcing this, I reminded my teens of two things:
They have time: Just because our kids don’t know what they want to do now, doesn’t mean they won’t figure it out. Aside from many 4-year colleges who may close their applications before your teen may be ready, there are a ton of other opportunities to get the education and training they need to enter into a career they love. Community and Technical Colleges, Gap Year programs, the Military and Apprenticeships and Trade Schools have much longer application times and a wider variety of opportunities for career education and training.
You believe in them: It is essential that our kids know that no matter what they want to do we will support their path to their own success. Sometimes teens feel pressure to engage in a post-high school plan they believe we want them to pursue but might not be what they want. This can cause them to put off making any plans until it’s “too late.” If you think this might be the case, tell them you want them to build their best path, not follow something they think you want them to do.
Assess Interests, Not Just Academics: The predominant sentiment in our culture is that you have to get good grades in order to be successful. So, if your teen struggles in school or doesn’t like school, putting together a plan that includes even more school may feel overwhelming (this was definitely the case with my daughter). So, instead of focusing on academics try these alternative focus areas:
Encourage them to explore their hobbies and things they are passionate about in search of potential career avenues. Whether or not you (or they) think those things could become viable careers isn't the point: if any of us is passionate about something we will find a way to be successful in it. The same is true for your teen. There are literally thousands of career possibilities that didn’t even exist a few years ago. ANYthing is possible!
Introduce your teen to interest-focused career exploration tools. I have used both My Next Move and Self Assessments | CareerOnestop, both of which cover not only comprehensive interest assessments but also direct links to careers associated with those assessments. Your teen will need some support to get started, but once they have explored a bit they will be able to take skills assessments and will be directed to appropriate careers.
Normalize Exploration: Reassure them that it’s okay to take time figuring things out. There is enormous pressure on teens to know exactly what they want to do after graduation. I don’t know about you but when the pressure was on my kids they definitely got stuck in overwhelm and indecision. Some teens just need a little more time to figure things out especially if they are considering not going to college. Instead of focusing on a specific education option (college, etc) try these approaches:
Introduce your teen to the 16 Career Clusters and encourage them to engage in their own research. Sometimes teens are not aware of just how many different opportunities they have to use their skills, hobbies, and passions in future careers because they don’t see them in their everyday lives. Exploring the Career Clusters introduces them to groups of careers based on interests they may have never considered before.
Help your teen identify what they do not want to do. By eliminating careers, a teen can narrow down their interests and create a more focused approach to career path development.
Key Takeaway
Just because your senior doesn’t have a plan today doesn’t mean they won’t develop one. Taylor eventually settled on a career (Athletic Trainer) and Christopher identified a major that would keep him connected to the sport he loved whether or not he continued playing. Both are now in careers they love: Taylor is a stylist (a longer story for another time) and Christopher has started his own sports media company with his teammate and college roommate.
Your teen will find their way. Try easing the pressure, helping them assess their interests, and giving them permission to take time to explore and watch as they build a pathway to success they are excited to pursue.
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