Ella knew college wasn’t for her. She was adamant during our Discovery Call but couldn’t shake the doubt. “How can I be sure I’m not making a mistake?” she asked in our first session, followed by, “Can I really find something fulfilling without college?” and, “How will I feel when my friends leave for college, and I don’t?”
Like most teens, Ella wanted certainty. But I explained to her: certainty doesn’t exist. It’s normal to feel unsure about the future, especially when everyone else seems to have a plan. The truth is, no one is ever 100% sure of their next step. Career planning requires a leap of faith, and the key is knowing how to adapt when things don’t go as expected.
If your teen feels unsure about their plan, here are ways you can help them move forward with confidence.
1. Embrace Uncertainty
Uncertainty doesn’t mean failure. Most people, even adults, feel unsure at times. Encourage your teen to embrace it. Ask them what would make them feel more confident or what 100% certainty would feel like. This helps them work through their doubts and fears without you having to offer solutions—just listen.
2. Reframe Their Plan
No plan is perfect. Help your teen view their plan as a flexible guide, not a rigid path. Get them to write it down—sometimes seeing it helps them spot what’s missing and eases their uncertainty. And remind them that they can adjust their plan as they move forward. Flexibility is key.
3. Teach Pivoting as a Strength
Plans will change, and that’s okay. Encourage your teen to see adaptability as a strength. Teach them to focus on the immediate next step rather than worrying about the entire future. They don’t need to scrap the whole plan if something changes—just pivot and keep going.
4. Be a Supportive Listener
Your support matters more than having all the answers. Teens often fear their choices won’t make us proud. Reassure them that you trust their decisions, and let them talk through their concerns. Sometimes they just need to hear their own thoughts out loud to gain clarity.
Uncertainty is normal, and the ability to adapt is more important than having a rigid plan.
Ella and I worked together for a couple months. During that time she worked through her doubts by being honest with herself and her desires and putting her hopes into a solid career development plan, not in comparison. In the end Ella navigated her uncertainty and built a non-college pathway for her self and has been thriving as she chases her dreams.
Feeling uncertain is OK. If your teen is struggling to embrace their post-graduation plans, help them embrace flexibility, take action, and trust that it’s okay if the path changes.
Need more guidance?
Check out the College Is Not Mandatory Facebook Group
Check out the College Is Not Mandatory parent resource page
I’m here to help you and your teen navigate this journey with confidence!
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