Let's be real...
Raising teenagers is TOUGH! But when you add in those post-high school discussions our relationship with our kids can get all out of whack.
It's a hard season to be in. On the one hand we WANT to see them succeed and launch. On the other hand we WORRY they might not find their way.
We want to help, but our efforts are often met with... well a lot of reactions other than the excitement and willingness to engage we hoped there would be.
How did I manage this whole post-high school planning season?
In my own experience with my kids there were a lot of hard conversations, mandatory separate time to reflect (and calm down!) and overwhelm both for them and for my husband and me.
One of my strongest values is relationships though, and I wanted to protect mine with my kids. BUT I also wanted to set them up for success.
What did I do?
I used my focus on maintaining my relationship with my kids as the foundation for my questioning, asking open-ended questions and becoming curious about their dreams and perspective of their futures while reserving my judgment of that perspective (even if it seemed totally off-the-wall) and reminding them it was THEIR life to live, not mine and I would love them no matter what they chose.
I used my research and critical thinking skills to look into careers my kids mentioned they might be interested in (and satellite careers) and the experience and training required and then shared that information with my kids for them to determine whether to pursue it further or not.
I used my insights as a former educator to research trends in education and training options, college majors, recruiting, scholarships, and student loans, and shared what I found with my kids, while also having conversations about what we could afford and what they would need to contribute.
The results?
Our daughter decided she wanted to be an athletic trainer for the NFL (Master's and extended experience required) after her athletic trainer experience with her high school football team. She attended the University of Missouri and declared athletic training as her major. Her first year was an "audition" for the program: If she didn't make it in she would have to wait a whole year to try again. She missed the cut-off by 2 people. Not one to wait around, especially since she wanted to graduate in 4 years, she looked into other majors and learned the only one she could transfer to that would allow her to graduate in 4 years was a BS in Health Sciences. She graduated with her degree in 4 years and declared she hated the major and didn't want to work in health care. Instead, she enrolled herself in cosmetology school and is now completely happy as a stylist.
Our son had dreams of playing professional soccer and so pursued the collegiate-athlete route. HIs major was Sports, Entertainment, and Marketing (he also added a minor psychology) since it was one of the few majors he believed would help him stay in the sports world. He graduated in 3.5 years (he took about 30 DE credits in high school) with 2 National Small School Championships, an internship with Charlotte FEC and no clue what he wanted to step into. He decided to build a sports branding and marketing company with his college roommate and is totally happy with his choice.
Could I have imagined this for my kids when they were in high school? No way.
Would I have them trade their experience, or have a clearer vision for them, before they decided to go to college? Sure... but they will tell you their choices led them to their current careers and that they aren't sure they could get where they are today without them. How can I argue with that?
So, WHY AM I TELLING YOU ALL THIS?
Because I get it.. I get the struggle and the worry and the overwhelm. I get the frustration and the silence and the "will they ever figure it out" exasperations.
And I didn't want you to feel like you were alone.
Helping our kids plan for life after high school takes a delicate balance of trust and pressure, a willingness to let them explore while also holding them accountable to moving forward.
It's tough work that requires patience and a willingness to let go and it's HARD. Just ask my kids! They will tell you there were some rough patches... BUT there are some super simple strategies you can use for post-high school planning to help you and your teen in this season.
What can YOU do?
A lot actually.
You can check out my book College Is Not Mandatory and learn all about the post-high school planning process and all the options available to our kids.
You can read all my other blogs on the post high school planning process
You can learn about my 1-1 coaching and then schedule a free Discovery Call to learn how I can help your kids
Or, If you live in the Charleston metro area, why not come to my next parent workshop to learn the process? I have worked with so.many.kids and I want to share with you how I get them from overwhelm to confidence. Why? Because I am only one person... if every parent learns to do what I do then so.many.more.kids can be helped! I call it Parent University because it's a master class in post-high school planning just for parents. Check it out and register for the next one today!
Remember, while these are your kids we are talking about, it is their future. Let me help you navigate this season with confidence and keep your relationships with your teens intact.
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